Somniloquy

I wrote this https://ajreads.wordpress.com/2013/11/11/somniloquy/ a couple of years ago, and then recently a new and improved version got published in the @KeeleCreativeWriting Society’s anthology of fiction. So I thought I’d share, especially since there’s now a sequel which I’ll put up pretty soon (don’t worry, I won’t flake out, it’s already written lol). There’s many ways this could have gone, and if you’ve got any ideas I’d love to hear them. For the moment, here’s the first part, I hope you enjoy it! :*

“Have I told you how much I love you?” Nathan asked, inching closer. Bree looked up from the book she was reading, one of the many books she kept on her bedside table for sleepless nights. She was surprised to find him still sleeping.

“It’s hard to find the words,” he said and snuggled in.

I should have known Bree thought, taking off her reading glasses and turning off her lamp. Nathan was never this expressive, especially these past few months. She didn’t mind hearing it this way though. When she was falling asleep a few minutes later, she still had a smile on her face and Nathan’s arm around her midsection.

She found him in the kitchen the next morning, already dressed for work. She stood for a moment and studied him as he wolfed down his cereal, taking in his broad shoulders and high cheekbones. He was wearing the blue shirt she bought him for their three-year anniversary. She loved how the shirt fit, the shade of blue complementing his dark skin. They had first met at Suzanne’s birthday dinner and with his rugged good looks and boundless charisma all her friends had thought he was too good to be true. Even she thought so when he wouldn’t stop calling her, until a month later when he finally convinced her to go on a date with him.

“Morning!” she said, still feeling quite chipper from the night before.

“Morning,” he replied. He looked up, and caught her looking at him. As if that was his cue, he dumped his bowl in the sink and grabbed his bag. He gave her a perfunctory peck on the cheek before heading out. Just like that, Bree felt the high spirits she had woken up with deflate. Rather than the leisurely breakfast she had envisioned, she rushed through her bowl of cereal and dressed up for work.

As senior analyst at her firm she could arrive later than everyone else. She liked to wait till the morning rush had died down before heading in. She arrived in time to catch the end of the junior analysts’ morning meeting before entering her cubicle. An hour later and she was still staring at the same page of today’s financial report, too distracted by thoughts of Nathan’s nighttime declarations and his attitude this morning to focus.

“Penny for your thoughts,” she heard behind her, making her jump in her seat. Nelly, one of the junior analysts, smiled at her from the cubicle adjacent to her own. Knowing Nelly would gossip if she told her, she laughed and told a joke instead. For the rest of the day she ploughed through the report, trying her best not to think of Nathan.

Before the clock struck five Bree was up and packing, in a hurry to get home before Nathan. She wanted a luxurious bubble bath and a glass of wine. As she drove home, she reminisced about the early part of their relationship. Nathan would meet her after work and they’d have a few drinks and a meal or, even watch a movie before saying goodnight. She missed those times, when Nathan couldn’t seem to get enough of her. It was his idea to move in together, a year after they became a couple. She wondered if this had been a mistake.

Lapsed catholic though she was, she had had reservations about moving in with a guy before she was married. Moving in with Nathan had caused arguments with her mother, who still had conventional views and disapproved of Bree’s decision. “I need this to work” she thought. She parked her Toyota Yaris in their two car garage, happy to see Nathan’s Nissan Rogue absent. She couldn’t bear the thought of what her mom and her cronies would say if this ended. Especially now that she had just turned thirty. Already there were subtle digs about when she and Nathan would tie the knot. Her mom never missed a chance to make her disapproval clear.

Two hours and a long soak in the bath later, she came downstairs to find Nathan stretched out on the couch watching football. He was no longer in his work clothes; he had clearly been home a while.

“Didn’t hear you come in,” she said to him.

“I didn’t want to disturb you,” he said, studiously avoiding eye contact.

“When is that ever disturbing?” Bree asked him.

“Calm down Bree,” Nathan said.

Without another word she turned and went upstairs.

Halfway up the stairs she turned around again and headed back to the hall.

“I’m tired of this Nathan,” she said. “I don’t know how much longer I can take this.”

“Take what exactly,” Nathan said and looked at her.

“This coldness between us,” she said. “lately things just seem so off”

“They do?” he asked, pulling her into his arms. “Nothing’s off, I still feel the same; or have things changed for you?” he asked, nibbling on her ear.

Bree let out a sigh. It was just her imagination after all.

“You know they haven’t,” she replied, snuggling in closer. She tried to remember the last time they had done something like this.

A few hours later; with Nathan by her side, she was just about to turn off her night-light when she heard Nathan mumble something. Eager to hear what he would say this time, she inched closer her book and night-light all but forgotten.

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before,” he said. Bree smiled. Take that mom! She thought. Perhaps she would always wait for Nathan to fall asleep first. Then she could hear all the lovely things he would never say to her when he was awake.

“I love you Megan,” he said.

Feeling as if she had just taken a bullet to the heart, Bree shot out of bed, knocking down her lamp and waking Nathan. For a moment she looked at him without speaking, her mom had won after all.

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One Month In!


Disclaimer: This is not a sequel to Tracy yes there’s a sequel or there will be….one day…when I get around to it :D.

apple crumble

sponge cake

So, it’s been a mighty fun month! To be honest when I boarded my flight a month ago, I was more excited than scared but there was Still some fear. Fear of the unknown I guess. Since I got here though, I’ve had more than enough reason to let go of that fear.

For one thing everyone here is so friendly it’s incredible. Part of my anxiety when I was leaving home was from all the things I had read or heard about how unfriendly people are in the UK. Not like I was expecting a rolled out welcome mat at Heathrow but I wasn’t exactly looking forward to having my head chewed off for asking directions some place.

And then there’s the free food! There was so much of it in the first two weeks I literally felt myself packing on the pounds and not in any of the good places if you know what I mean ;). Since I prefer my pounds in cash and not body mass I promptly joined the gym and although I wake up most days with aches in all sorts of places I figure it’s a fair price to pay for all the delicious food I’ve been consuming. So it’s been zumba three times a week and aerobics once a week just so I can eat all those glorious desserts without having to see visions of myself having to be rolled off the plane when I eventually return.

There was the dinner for international students the first night we got in aand the breakfast the next morning then the buffet dinner that evening buffet breakfast the morning after and then the International Student ball that night which was really marvelous. I did nearly go blind from some of the outfits but that’s par for the course really with these types of events isn’t it?

There was also a BBQ organized by one of the chaplains and where there’s chicken….. 😀 Anyways I literally attended so many events with free food in this first month I had friends from home asking me if I was sure I was away at school and not on holiday. Although the flow of food has since trickled down to the barest minimum now there’s of course the cottage lunch organized every Sunday which I wouldn’t miss for the world. Imagine that for a donation of £2 you get to eat a very filling home cooked meal and have the most amazing of desserts like chocolate mudpies, chocolate sponge cakes covered in chocolate sauce and ice cream, apple crumbles etc and best of all seconds are available! Best believe I’m in there every single Sunday rain or shine, £2 in hand.

With all that’s been going on I haven’t even had the time to be homesick. I do miss being able to just drive anywhere I want and being able to have dinner with friends (you know yourselves :*) whenever I wanted to see them and Starbites! Oh how I miss that spicy avocado chicken wrap and the jerk chicken. Other than that though it’s been a good month. I also miss my gentleman of a brother opening doors for me and holding my bag (when there was something in the bag for him of course).

I have made tons of friends of various nationalities and there’s been nights at the KPA (the Postgraduates bar), lunch in town, a few shopping trips, etc. I’m certainly looking forward to seeing the fireworks and hopefully a trip with some of my course mates if that does work out. If this month is anything to go by though, I can’t wait to see what the other months hold!

PS: If this post didn’t tell you anything at all, the morale of the story is FOOD, FOOD, and more FOOD please and thank you 😀

Lots of love,

AJ :*